ebay special

So why camp fire? In a nutshell, my mom was the camp fire leader for my group growing up. She was a stay at home mom, babysitting all the neighborhood kids before and after school for extra money and somehow stumbled into being a campfire leader. One thing i remember vividly is my mom being involved in everything i did growing up, she went to every event at school, was always making me clothes and soft toys. My father built dollhouses and treehouses and backyard forts, making play guns from broomsticks and bigwheels pulled from the trash were patched up with wood scraps. Add to this a mom who had weekly meetings at our house full of crafts, sewing and events at the camp fire lodge where everyone wore beaded indian gowns, sang songs, beat drums and made huge campfires....it was a magical upbringing. There were the usual ups and downs in our family, but there was something about all the camping and outdoor activities plus the crafts and singing that i really remember with fondness.

Flash forward to my life now. I work a crazy mixed up schedule, some weekends, some nights...big chunks of time off and big chunks of work without a break. I try to be involved in my daughter's school and ballet and still find time to do my own artwork and crafting. My biggest problem is finding time to do the things i really need for myself, like haircuts, clothes shopping and excercise.

After my first daughter was born, i became obsessed with how i would raise her, how to have a bond with her as strong as the one i have with my parents, particularly my mom. I have never had that supermommy maternal instinct i see in some people, i get cranky, i get tired. I have a million ideas and can only act on a few here and there. I am filled with doubt about my parenting style. My six year old has always enjoyed daycare and school, she is full of interest in everything i do with her. My three year old is right behind her with wide eyes and enthusiasm. I always new that camp fire was something special to me (I was in it for 10 years! the last three i spent most of my summers as a camp counselor) and that if i ever had a daughter, she would be a bluebird. When the time came to sign up though, i found it wasnt that easy.

My life had become so busy, so full of schedules, things to do, places to be...I just wanted to "sign her up" and "drop her off." I have to admit, when they said there wasnt a group that could take her at the time, i just shrugged and thought, i'll just wait for a group to open even if it takes a year. This was my thinking at the time, let someone else do the work and i will just plop my kid in and let the good stuff soak into her.

What i realized several months later was this: a group may never open up, it's not up to others to give my kid the "good stuff" and that what she really needed was ME showing her i was committed to something that INVOLVED her. I went to another campfire information meeting (six months after my initial contact with them) and sat there with three other moms, an anxious feeling inside as i realize this wasn't going to happen unless i took action. Everything the coordinator said made sense, she reminded me of all the things i learned as a child in campfire and i swear, she quoted things my own mom had said to me growing up. What campfire was about were all the values and skills i had been wanting to teach my own child but couldn't define it, she answered many questions that had been brewing in me for years. It was clicking! These other moms wanted to do it, they were excited, they needed my help (i was the only one with a campfire background) and i just said "OK!".

Since then we have added 7 more girls, almost instantly our group grew and being the leader has been the most blissful experience. I understand now how this single change in my life has put the focus on my family and especially my six year old daughter in a way i just wasn't focused before. It was overwhelming at first, but for just the briefest of moments. When i go to a meeting i see a group of the most amazing moms (and dads!) and their daughters, all coming together to talk about nature and feelings and friendship, working on crafts, and sharing a snack. We make plans for the future and talk about the funnest way to teach our daughters new skills and to share in a sense of community. I am so glad and so thankful i just plunged into this even though i felt it was too much to commit to at the time.

Now for the picure, i found a vintage bluebird outfit on ebay for $5.00! The hat my other daughter is wearing was my original cap, the outfit is long gone unfortunately.